Jokes with realistic endings...
A man walks into a bar
He drinks 6 Newcastles, 4 shots of Jack Daniels, hits on the waitress unsuccessfully, takes his wedding ring off, tried again and fails, drinks 3 more shots, drives home, beats his daughter for coming home late, and cries himself to sleep realizing that he hates his life.
A man spends his first day in prison talking to his cell mate. His cell mate gives him a few tips on surviving maximum security in his first weeks there, and then pauses to look outside the bars of the cell.
"I got an escape plan", says the man's cell mate.
"What is it?"
"Put this blanket over your head, and I'll tell you what to do when the guard comes back."
The man puts the blanket over his head, and his cell mate begins to rape him. Savagely.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because it was just the decomposing remains of a long forgotten murder case in a remote field.
How do you drown a blonde? Hold her head underwater until she can no longer breathe and stops struggling.
Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? Repeated absences and stealing.
So, there were an Irishman, an Englishman and an American wrecked on an island. One day, they found a bottle, and when they opened it, a ghost came out and offered them each a wish. However, even though they wished for different stuff, nothing happened, as the three guys of varying nationalities were just having shared hallucinations from hunger.
What do you get when you stick a knife in a baby?
A life-sentence in jail.
What do you get when you're gay?
A cock in your arse [edited, should be made fun of….]
What's worse then finding a worm in your apple?
Rape
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel stuck to his crotch.
The bartender says, "Hey, you got a wheel stuck to your crotch."
The pirate replies, "Yarr, me ship wrecked in a terrible storm and my testicles swelled with an infection while I was knocked unconscious against the wheel. Can you please call a doctor?"
A white man is driving his Cadillac on a highway in Texas. He notices a black man pushing his bicycle along the side of the road.
He pulls over to talk to the black man and offer him a ride. He says "I can't fit your bike in my car, but I can tie it to the back and let you ride behind me. If I'm going too fast, just yell."
The black man says "No thanks, that sounds pretty risky" and keeps pushing his bike down the road.
Why did the deaf man take his parrot to work?
He was weird.
A chicken begins crossing the street and is hit by several fast moving metal boxes with wheels
A man walks into a whorehouse and pays a prostitute for sex. He contracts an STD and passes it onto his pregnant wife. Their child is born deformed and has a difficult life.
When asked if he could see the humor in the situation, the child replied "No. No I don't."
What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadilliac going over a cliff?
They were my friends.
Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She was a schizophrenic
http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2792 <<more here //Nick dunn's all cred goes to him:P
The ones which had black people in it weren't racist if anything they were a satire on the racist culture, it could be argued that your reaction can be constured as racist. Just because there is a black man involved the joke isn't racist, not every story about a black person is racist. (I'm not black either)